“Bystanders” is a catch-all term that is
often applied to people who are passive and indifferent to activities taking
place around them. The news is filled with stories about bystanders watching as
people are attacked. Here are some examples:
- PHILADELPHIA (WTXF) An alarming video of a woman being beaten on a city street while a crowd of people watches came to us by a Fresco News user.
- Police are hunting for a couple who beat a New York City cab driver over an $18 fare as a crowd of bystanders reportedly stood and watched.
- A Santa Monica woman was punched by a homeless man this week at 2nd and Wilshire, but what hurt the woman more were the men at the scene who did nothing to help.
This phenomenon of being a bystander,
especially for men, is evident in the local church, which could not survive if
it were not for the ladies working double duty. It shouldn’t surprise us that most of
us men are bystanders today. It goes back to Genesis. In Genesis 3:6 (NIV) we
read, “When the woman saw the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing
to the eye, and desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. Then
she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” So while Eve was being tempted, father Adam
was the first bystander. This doesn’t make us men look good.
My friend of 41 years, Don Wampler,
went to his eternal reward on March 31, 2019 around 3 pm. I had the privilege
of being with Don and his family as he made his journey, just like he and his
wife Ruby had been with me as my wife made her journey more than 13 years ago.
I have struggled to describe my friend,
using phrases such as:
- A force of nature
- They broke the mold when they made Don
- He died living and never lived dying
The list goes on, but I have found
that no description can do justice for this unique and good man. Instead, I’ve
found the best way to describe him is to say what he wasn’t. Don Wampler was
never a bystander … I mean never.
I met Don 41 years ago when I was an
office manager for Lowe’s. It was a Saturday morning and I saw Don pacing
outside my office. I had seen him, Ruby, and their son, Randy, at church but we
had never met. On this particular morning I saw an angry Don, as a salesman had
been rude to Ruby and she had gone home and told Don. He was not going to stand
by and let someone speak unkindly to Ruby. We discussed the matter and I assured
Don I would take care of it. Thus started a 41-year journey as friends.
The more I got to know about Don and spend
time with him in Virginia, North Carolina, Indiana, Kansas, and Tennessee, I
saw a man who lived life to its fullest.
Don’s passion of always being all in and not being a bystander began at an
early age. He protected his mother when he was 12 years old, and then his
little brother Gary when Don was a teenager. Don heard the good news of Jesus
Christ as a young boy and actively began to trust and serve Jesus. He was not a bystander in sharing the good
news with his own father, who came to faith through Don’s witness.
Don certainly wasn’t a bystander when
he originally saw a beautiful Ruby Greene in a church choir. He told me that he
was smitten at first glance and his determination resulted in a blessed 56-year
marriage.
The examples of Don not being a
bystander is so long it requires a list:
- Active in high school sports, Don was a good athlete
- He proudly and
faithfully served his country in the Air Force
- A respected
colleague at Sprint for almost 30 years, Don was known as a leader who was both
knowledgeable and who could get things done
- A dedicated
father, he was always there for Randy
- He was a church leader in Virginia, North Carolina, and Tennessee. When Don and Ruby saw the need for a camp for pre-teens, they started the Fellowship Chapel youth camp, which has been going strong for over 38 years. They sacrificed vacation and resources for years to lay the foundation to bless pre-teen youth.
I witnessed Don breaking up a fight at
Wendy’s in Wytheville, Virginia, trying to run down a mugger in
Charlottesville, Virginia, and making sure a dying friend was ready to meet his
maker. Don wasn’t going to merely sit in my rental car one cold Kansas City
night when we tried to interrupt President Ronald Reagan’s motorcade route. Don
jumped out of the car and asked if we could stand on the street as the
president went by. Then two hillbillies stood alone and waved at a gracious,
smiling, and waving President Reagan. He must have recognized Don.
I could go on and on with more
examples and dozens of friends could add countless stories of Don and Ruby not
merely standing by when there was a need in their community, church, or circle
of friends. My most personal example happened the first Friday in June,
2004. I had just gotten off the phone
with a godly surgeon, Dr. Michael Rowell, when my whole world turned dark and
uncertain. I had just learned my wife Betty, at 46, had stage 4 cancer and
would not live over 2 more years. I immediately called my friend Don and could
only utter one word—“Come.” His response was classic Don: “We’re
on the way.” For the next 1½ years Don and Ruby Wampler became our rainy day
people. Coming for one of the surgeries at UVA, where Ruby stayed up with Betty
at night, bringing food, and making more visits then I can remember. But it was during Betty’s last week they came
and basically stayed, being with us as Betty made her journey. One of the last
names Betty spoke was “Don.”
Hebrews 12 talks about being
surrounded by “a cloud of witnesses” and about running the race of life. All
races have finished lines; Don reached his finished line on March 31. I believe
it is not a stretch to say the cloud of witnesses will be at our finish line to
welcome us home. Last Sunday, Don was welcomed home by his Mom and Dad, Mr. and
Mrs. Greene, Lester MacKinnon, Betty, and so many more. All of these greetings had to be joyous, but
it was that greeting from the one Don called “My Jesus” that Don is enjoying
the most today and for eternity. Don Wampler is not a bystander in heaven today.
He is enjoying revealed glory (Romans 8:18).
So how do we go on without this most
influential person in our lives? I must admit it is hard and painful but I am
more determined not to model father Adam when it comes to being a bystander.
With God’s help and Don’s example, I want to be all in for my family, church,
friends, and community. God help us to finish our races well.
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Don and Ruby Wampler, Thanksgiving 2017May All Who Come Behind Us Find Us Faithful |
